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Vanity Fea

Más dinero negro

Hace tiempo que no me llegaba una de estas (o igual es que mis filtros de correo basura, el de la cabeza y el del ordenata, me las quitaban de la vista):

FROM MR MALCOM BRIGGS
REPUBLIC OF BENIN.
WEST AFRICA
TEL:+229 88 98 16.

Dear sir

I am MR MALCOM BRIGGS, the director in charge of auditing and accounting section of CREDIT BANK OF BENIN cotonou republic of benin in west Africa with due respect and regard.I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction .During our investigation and auditing in this bank,my department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased person who died in a plane crash on the 26th December 1998 on airline transafrik International with aircraft Lockheed L-100-30 at location Vila Nova,Angola with registration number S9-CAO and since his untimely death the funds has been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery to this development.

Although personally, I keep this information secret within myself and partners to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution. The said amount was US$24.1M (Twenty Four million One Hundred Thousand united states dollars). As it may interest you to know, I got your impressive information through my a friends who works with the Ministry of Information here in Cotonou-Benin. It is him who recommended your person to me to be viable and capable to champion a business of such magnitude without any problem .Meanwhile all the whole arrangement to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased,get the required approval and transfer this money to a foreign account has been put in place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist us and also benefit yourself to this great business opportunity.

In fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this country as a civil servant,we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin to the Bank and also present a foreign account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent branch of thebank where the whole money will be remitted from to your own designated bank account.

May I at this point emphasize that this transaction is 100% risk free as I have made arrangements for a successful arrangement as an insider of the bank before contacting you.On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 10% will be set aside to take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also telephone bills, while 60% will be for me and my partners. Please, you have been adviced to keep this a top secret as we are still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you.

I will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm the money in your account and ask us to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to invest in. All other necessary information will be sent to you on your acceptance to champion this transaction with me.
I suggest you get back to me as soon as possible on my personal mobile phone +229 88 98 16.stating your wish in this deal.

Yours faithfully,

MR MALCOM BRIGGS

TEL:+229 88 98 16.

Bueno, pues si no me localizáis, ya sabéis, estoy reunido con estos señores en un asunto muy importante. O con los del physing, que también me dicen que active mis inexistentes cuentas del BBVA y de CajaMadrid; o igual me estoy inflando a Viagra, o paseándome subido en mi nuevo Rolex bañado en purpurina. Esto no pasaba cuando esta gente tenía que pegar un sello de correos. La ventaja es que ahora tenemos publicidad gratis, y noticias también. El País ha sido incapaz de resistirse al llamamiento de su función social, y ha vuelto a abrir sus contenidos para consulta en red. Y mientras nos regalan el Qué me dices!, y el 10 Minutos a la entrada del metro. El sentido de la evolución está claro: noticias y publicidad convergen hacia el coste cero, o bien (ójala) dentro de nada tendrán que pagar para hacerse con un poquito de nuestro tiempo y atención. Tenemos un don inapreciable: somos mortales y finitos (bueno, unos más finitos que otros, con 100 kilos yo no presumo especialmente de eso) - tenemos un tiempo y un margen de atención limitado, y eso nos hace apetecibles. Creo que voy a decirle al señor este de Benin que acabo de subir mi caché.

2 comentarios

José Angel -

Sí, pobrecicos... pero generosos son, ¿eh?- los porcentajes no están nada mal. Me pregunto si son los mismos que los del rolex y el pene largo, o si realmente hay tanto chorizo suelto por el mundo.

Gatopardo -

Como no sé inglés no he podido montar el negocio del siglo vendiéndoles amuletos contra la mala suerte a todos los que tienen tropecientos millones y por un cúmulo de inconvenientes se ven obligados a repartir con los destinatarios de sus e.mail. Recibo diariamente ocho o nueve y haciendo cuentas... ¡es un negocio venderles los amuletos porque
son muchos... en todos los continentes.